A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many.
Then, he discovered the problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read, "SPEED TRAP AHEAD".
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign painted "TIPS" and a bucket of change.
A little girl asked her father:
- Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?
And he replied:
- No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'
Why did the piglets get in trouble in their biology class?
→ They ate all the specimens.
What did the pig say when his brother rolled on him?
→ Heavy!
A mother of two teenage boys, was constantly being asked to look for things they couldn't find. Most of the time these items were directly in front of them. Seeing her frustration over this when it happened yet again, one of her sons remarked:
- It's not my fault, Mom. I don't have 'parental vision.'
NEWS ITEM. Kidnappers grabbed a little boy and two days later sent him home with a ransom note. His parents immediately sent the kid back with the money.
If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
→ The out-of-tune sax player!
You were hallucinating the other two.
What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume?
→ He was convicted of fragrancy.
On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister.
- Would it be right, - he asked, - for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?
- Absolutely not! - replied the pastor.
- In that case, - said the young man, - I wonder if you'd consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July.
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Cotton
- Cotton who?
- Cotton a trap!
