Most viewed jokes

- Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?

- Horse: Sure!

- Girl: What do you call it?

- Horse: Same as you do. Mare!

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper:

- Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?

- Yes - the professor ansvered.

- When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not se it so, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now.

- Well - said the gatekeeper:

- That is a very minor sin. You may enter.

- Thank you very much, Saint Peter - the professor ansvered.

- Im am not Saint Peter - said the gatekeeper:

- He is having his lunchbreak. I am Saint Lucas.

- Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin?

- No more, mom. It's empty.

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter.

- Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.

- Heck, Gloria, we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets! - the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off.

Where do you go to meet the best fish?
→ It doesn't matter - any old plaice will do.

What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd?
→ He called the piano tuna!

How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
→ That's a military secret.

How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ 10,000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution.

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
→ They had reservations.

How many Serbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ It doesn't matter..
There's a blackout!