Most viewed jokes

Why did the pig wear yellow coveralls?
→ He split a seam in his blue ones.

How do you take a pig to hospital?
→ By hambulance!

What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it?
→ Money's tight these days!

Why do men float better than women?
→ Because they are scum.

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong, caring, loving.
They'd be wrong, but you could still use them.

A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient:

- How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?

He got the following reply:

- Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter.

- My dad came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife.

- So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson.

- But hold on just a few minutes more. You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather. Now can you understand how I got put in this place?

After staring blanky with a dizzy look on his face, the psychiatrist replied:

- Move over!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Costa

- Costa who?

- Costa lot!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Butch

- Butch who?

- Butch your arms around me!

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said:

- Tomorrow rain.

The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said:

- Tomorrow storm.

The next day there was a hailstorm.

- This Indian is incredible - said the director.

He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him.

- I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow - said the director.

- and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?

The Indian shrugged his shoulders.

- Don't know - he said.

- Radio is broken.

How do Filipinos count money?
→ One-a, two-a, three-a, four-a, another-a ...