Most viewed jokes

What do dirty fish read?
→ Prawno Magazines!

What fish make the best sandwich?
→ A peanut butter and jellyfish

Where do fish come from?
→ Finland!

What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
→ The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!

What do you call a man with a kilt over his head?
→ Scott!

A nurse had to take a patient back to her room after surgery. Woman was still feeling the effects of the anesthetic and was rather confused. After nurse had made her comfortable, she was confronted with four of woman friends who asked:

- How is she?

The nurse replied:

- Oh, she's quite dopey.

One of the friends said:

- We know that, but how is she healthwise?

- Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?

- Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says:

- Who the hell was that?

- Oh - replies the husband:

- she's my mistress.

- Well, that's the last straw - says the wife:

- I've had enough, I want a divorce.

- I can understand that - replies her husband:

- but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infinities and Lexuses in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

- Who's that woman with Jim? - asks the wife.

- That's his mistress - says her husband.

- Ours is prettier - she replies.

Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
→ Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!

Is this Love? by Midas Wellbee