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A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did not admit Jews.

The desk clerk looked down at his book and said:

- Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.

The Jewish lady said:

- But your sign says that you have vacancies.

The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly:

- You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town...

Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said:

- I'll have you know I converted to your religion.

The desk clerk said:

- Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?

Mrs. Rosenberg replied:

- He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem.

- Very good - replied the hotel clerk.

- Tell me more.

Mrs. Rosenberg replied:

- He was born in a manger.

- That's right - said the hotel clerk.

- And why was he born in a manger?

Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly:

- Because a jerk like you in the hotel wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire?
→ A bunny with money.

Did you hear about the rich rabbit?
→ He was a millionhare!

What position does the pig play in football?
→ Loinback.

What do you give a sick pig?
→ Oinkment!

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.

The nurse arrived and announced to the first man:

- Congratulations sir, you're the father of twins.

- What a coincidence! - the man said with some obvious pride.

- I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team.

The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man:

- You, sir, are the father of triplets.

- Wow, that's really an incredible coincidence - he answered.

- I work for the 3M Corporation. My buddies at work will never let me live this one down.

An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back. This time, she turned to the third man, who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply.

- Don't tell me another coincidence? - asked the nurse.

After finally regaining his composure, he said:

- I don't believe it, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel.

After hearing this, everybody's attention turned to the fourth guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and, after some time, he slowly gained back his consciousness.

The nurse asked:

- Sir, are you all right?

- Yes - says the man.

- I'm o.k. now. I just had a shocking thought. I work at the 7-11 Store.

Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
→ It took him four hours to get the bass player out.

Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich?
→ Because the poor didn't have any!

A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself.

The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet.

- Are you hurt? - he asked.

- Of course I'm hurt! - she replied.

- Three times around and you didn't wave once!

Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor, was standing on the deck of the Staten Island Ferry when a car got loose and sent him into the river where he drowned.

The following Sunday his widow, all decked out in deepest black, was standing on the church steps after Mass, receiving condolences and enjoying every minute of it, when an old friend of the contractor came up.

- I'm sorry, Mary, for your trouble - offered the friend.

- Did Mike leave you well fixed?

- Oh, he did! - she said.

- He left me almost a half million dollars.

- Well now, that's not bad for a man who couldn't read or write.

- Nor swim either - added the widow.