Most viewed jokes

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good.

On his third visit the doctor told the man:

- Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.

- But doc, if I do that, I'll get pneumonia - protested the patient.

- I know, I can cure pneumonia - said the doctor.

- Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep.

- Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.

What famous movie did the hamburger meat think of when they took it out of the freezer?
→ They Fry Who Cam in from the Cold!

What is a parrot's favorite game?
→ Hide and Speak!

What is green and pecks on trees?
→ Woody Wood Pickle!

How do you identify a bald eagle?
→ All his feathers are combed over to one side.

What is yellow and goes click-click?
→ A ball-point banana.

- Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older?

- Wizard: With luck, yes.

Why does a mother carry her baby?
→ The baby can't carry the mother.

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

What would Economics be without assumptions?
→ Accounting