Most viewed jokes

How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.

What happened to the cannibal lion?
→ He had to swallow his pride.

As the bus came to the stop, the man at the front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in the air and caught it before getting on the bus. An amazed conductor said:

- What on earth did you do that for?

- I wanted to know if there was room on top - replied the man.

How can you tell which Burger Land baseball pitchers are left-handed?
→ They're the one's wearing the left-handed 'meats'!

My sister is so dim she thinks that a cartoon is a song you sing in a car.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were standing in a line before a firing squad.

The commander says:

- READY, AIM

and the brunette yells:

- TORNADO! All the people turned around and looked and the brunette ran away.

Next, it's the redhead's turn. The commander says:

- READY, AIM

and the redhead yells:

- HURRICANE! Once again all the people turn around to look for the hurricane and the redhead runs away.

Finally, it's the blonde's turn. The commander says:

- READY, AIM

and the blonde yells:

- FIRE! and gets shot.

Two owls were playing pool.
One said:

- Two hits.

The other replied:

- Two hits to who?

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
→ An eggroll!

A pair of biologists are studying terns on a rock island just off the coast. While walking on a distant part of the island, they are shot at by a group of thugs operating a pot farm. This happens several times and the local law enforcement refuses to investigate.

On their last day on the island they happen into a huge pile of harvested grass that has been set out to dry.
Quickly they decide to set it on fire to pay the thugs back for shooting at them. The fire takes off and sends plumes of smoke into the sky. As they are running for their boat, they notice that the soaring birds are acting weird, spiraling out of control and crashing into the trees.

The next day they read the headlines in the local paper:

Pot Farm Burns - No Tern Left Unstoned.

How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
→ What sort of answer did you have in mind?
→ None-just assume it's changed.