Top ten television shows in Iraq:
- "Husseinfeld"
- "Mad About Everything"
- "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
- "Suddenly Sanctions"
- "Allah McBeal"
- "Wheel of Fortune and Terror"
- "Achmed's Creek"
- "Iraq's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
- "Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs"
- "Just Shoot Me"
- A medical mystery.
- A mental midget with the IQ of a fencepost. -- Tom Waits
- A mind as empty as the sleeping pill concession at a honeymoon hotel.
- A mind like wet tennis shoes... Makes squishy noises when running.
- A modest little person, with much to be modest about. -- Churchill
- A natural talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes.
- A Neanderthal brain in a Cro-Magnon body.
- A notch off the timing mark.
- A one-bit brain with a parity error.
- A pacifist out of necessity in a battle of wits.
- A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.
- A prime candidate for natural deselection.
- A quart low.
- A return with no gosub.
- A room temperature IQ.
- A semitone flat on the high notes.
- A square with only three sides.
- A steering wheel / few bolts short of a Yugo.
- A teapot with a cracked lid.
- A titanic intellect... In a world full of icebergs.
- A vacuum-tube brain in a microchip world.
- A VGA card and a Herc monitor.
- A victim of retroactive birth control.
- A violin minus the bow.
- A walking argument for birth control.
- A wind-up clock without a key.
- About half smart.
- Afraid she'll void her warranty if she thinks too much.
- Airhead / bubble-brain.
- Aliens zapped him with stupidity ray -- twice.
What has webbed feet and fangs?
→ Count Quackula.
That boy is so dirty, the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon.
What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?
→ He said, "Darling, you've got lovely teeth."
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
→ In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours?
→ Put Janet Reno in charge.
What kind of pig do sows dislike?
→ Male Chauvinist Pigs.
What is Chuck Norris' "best karate move"?
→ Pork Chop!
I told you not to let those pigs in my office.
Now, look what's happened.
They've eaten all the dates off my calendar!
