Most viewed jokes

What do ghosts watch if they want to relax?
→ Skelly-vision!

Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?
→ Crumbs!

- Boy: What's black, slimy, with hairy legs and eyes on stalks?

- Mom: Eat the cookies and don't worry about what's in the tin.

- Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch today.

- Cook: There is.

- Fred: No, there isn't. There's only cheese pie.

- Cook: You can choose to eat it or leave it.

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said:

- My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars.

The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said:

- Okay, where's my hundred dollars?

The man said:

- Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law.

The fisherman reached into his pocket and said:

- Just my luck. How much do I owe you?

What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds?
→ An elephant with hiccups!

Why did your sister jump out the window?
→ Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit

Kung Fu for Beginners by Flora Mugga

What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party?
→ You're not owld enough.

What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
→ They go on peck-nics!