Most viewed jokes

Two paratrooper recruits in a plane:

- Are you crazy, Vasily? You are going to jump without a parachute.

- Is it mandatory to wear it?

- Sure. It's raining outside.

- Knock Knock!

- Who's there?

- Adolf!

- Adolf who?

- Adolf ball hit me in the mouth!

- May I take your order? - the waiter asked.

- Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?

- Nothing special sir - he replied.

- We just tell them straight out that they're going to die.

The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother.

- Mom - she said - I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy.

The mother took a deep breath and began:

- When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing...

- I know how to fuck, mother - the bride-to-be interrupted - I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna.

Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, publicly accused her neighbor George of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar.

George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.

- First cannibal: Come and have dinner in our hut tonight.

- Second cannibal: What are you having?

- First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?
→ To show the opossum it could be done.

Why do you go to bed?
→ Because the bed will not come to you.

- You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's not good for you to go to bed on a full stomach.

- Oh, Mum. I promise I'll lay on my side.

Which birds steal soap from the bath?
→ Robber ducks!