Most viewed jokes

What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
→ Mice cream and cake!

What do you call a crazy chicken?
→ A cuckoo cluck!

What is a duck's favorite TV show?
→ The feather forecast!

How can you shorten a bed?
→ Don't sleep long in it.

Who won the Monster Beauty Contest?
→ No one.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Power Ranger Barbie ...with karate-chop action; complete with the ridiculous outfit

A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender:

- I bet you $1,000 that I can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from thirty feet away, and not get any outside the glass.

The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says:

- Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?

The man answers:

- Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar.

- Tower: What's your heigth and position?

- Pilot: Well, I'm 6 foot tall and I'm sitting front left.

- Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees..

- But Center, we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?

- Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 707 makes when it hits a 727?

Why do Walruses go to Tupperware parties?
→ To find a tight Seal.