A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit and said:
- You're soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be a rabbit.
The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said:
- You're slimy, beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a math teacher.
What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?
→ "Happy Birthday To Gnu!"
Which bird ran for President?
→ H. Ross Parrot
What happened when the owl lost his voice?
→ He didn't give a hoot!
A logger is driving down the highway and sees two botanists trying to measure the height of a small pine tree.
Their tape measure is not long enough so one botanist stands on the shoulders of the other and attempts to extend the tape to the tree top but it is not long enough. While trying, he falls to the ground. They attempt this about five times and each time the top botanist falls. The logger is laughing but feels sorry for the pair, gets out of his truck, takes out an electric saw and cuts down the tree.
The botanists are looking at him like he is crazy. He then takes a tape measure and measures the tree.
- OK guys, the tree is 14' 6.
He then gets in his truck and drives away. The two botanists are stunned and speechless. Finally one says to the other:
- How do you like that, we are trying to measure the height of the tree and that stupid jerk measures the width.
How can you shorten a bed?
→ Don't sleep long in it.
- Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please?
- Porter: I can give you a room, but you'll have to wash yourself.
Two Polish truck drivers are barreling along when they come up to an overpass. A sign says, "Clearance: 11"2'." So they get out, measure their truck, and realize that it's 11"6'. So the first Polak looks at the second Polak and says, "I don't see any cops around....let's go for it!"
A rather senile old lady went to her doctor complaining of draining and a feeling of fullness in her ear. After the examination, the doctor initiated a conversation that went as follows:
- Doctor: Why madam, I think you have a suppository in your ear.
- Lady: ?eh?
- Doctor: Madam - You have a SUPPOSITORY in your EAR!
- Lady: ?? EH??
- Doctor: (shouting) --IN YOUR EAR! --A SUPPOSITORY!!!
- Lady: Oh, thank Goodness - now I know where I put my hearing aid!
Very Short Books...
