Most viewed jokes

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Militant Femminist Barbie ...with an assault rifle

A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender replies:

- Sorry, we don't serve food here.

- Do you like your new baby sister?

- She's all right.

- Do you play with her?

- No, and we can't even send her back because she's been here more than 28 days.

How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana?
→ She left him out in the sun too long.

- Tower: Mission triple-three, do you have problems?

- Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass.

- Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel..

Whales are mammals. Mammals have hair. SHAVE THE WHALES!

If you went to New York City for vacation and found eggs everywhere, what would the city's new name be?
→ New Yolk City!

Proctologist: A doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.

Proctologist: A brain surgeon for lawyers.

Proctologist: the rare profession in which the M.D. starts out at the bottom and stays there.

A Marketing Manager got married to a woman who had previously been married eight times. On his wedding night, his wife informed him that she was still a virgin. This puzzled the Marketing Manager since after eight marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomena.

Her comments were as follows:

- My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, 'It's gonna be great!'

- My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation.

- My third husband was from Field Service who constantly said that everything was diagnostically 'okay', but he just couldn't get the system up.

- My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said, 'Those who can...do; Those who can't...teach.'

- My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department who said that he had the orders, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver..

- My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

- My seventh husband was from Finance And Administration. His comments were that he knew how, but he just wasn't sure whether or not it was his job.

- My eighth husband was from Standards And Regulations and told me that he was up to the standards but that regulations said nothing about how to do it.

The wife said sweetly to her new husband:

- Now I am married to you, a man of Marketing.

The husband looked at his wife and simply said:

- I know I have the product, I'm just not sure how to position it!

What is the difference between men and pigs?
→ Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.