Most viewed jokes

But let's get real here guys, I mean who exactly are we kidding? A husband controls his wife in much the same manner as a barometer controls the weather.

- Freda: Boys whisper they love me.

- Fred: Well, they wouldn't admit it out loud, would they?

A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.

- Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth.

- So why did you come around then?

- Well, I saw this light at the window...!

Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom?
→ To keep the swelling down.

Two blind man at a cinema:

- Can you see something?

- No.

- Then let's go in front!

Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother's ear.

- Johnny, how many times have I told you - said his mother, it's rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.

- OK - said Johnny, why does the lady over there look like an ugly, haggard old witch?

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

FrankenBarbie ...comes with bolts through her neck

Where do Martians drink beer?
→ At a mars bar!

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.
Approaching the friend he comments:

- You look terrible. What's the problem?

- My mother died in June - he said, and left me $10,000.

- Gee, that's tough - he replied.

- Then in July - the friend continued, My father died, leaving me $50,000.

- Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed.

- And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000.

- Three close family members lost in three months? How sad.

- Then this month - continued, the friend, nothing!