Most viewed jokes

Where is Dracula's American office?
→ The Vampire State Building.

How does Dracula keep fit?
→ He plays batminton.

Braxton and Hollis had jobs at a California cotton mill. One morning the foreman came along and found Braxton reading a letter to his coworker.

- Hey, - cried the foreman.

- what kind a horseplay you two guys up to?

- Hollis got a letter from his girlfriend, - explained Braxton.

- but he can't read; so Ah'm readin' the letter for him.

- How come you got the cotton in your ears?

- Hollis don't want me to hear what his girlfriend writ to him!

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $6,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral.

- Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce - the man said.

The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him 6,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him:

- That will be $6,000 in principal, and $18.40 in interest.

The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away.

- Wait sir - the loan officer said, while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow?

The man smiled.

- Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $18.40?

How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
→ It's not hard.

A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she's too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that she's too skinny.

After a while the son pointed out a very attractive woman.

- Sure son - the father replied, drooling.

- We'll take her home and eat your mother!

Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook?
→ She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle?
→ Bike carbonate of soda!

Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller.

What is the difference between a banana and a bell?
→ You can only peel (peal) the banana once.