Yo Mama Jokes — best jokes

Yo mama so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo mama's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.

Yo Mama is so fat, when she sits on a quarter she squeezes a booger out of George Washington's nose.

Yo family is so poor that when I went inside your house I accidentally stepped on a roach and your whole family came out singing, "Clap your hands, stomp your feet, thank the Lord that we got meat!"

Your dad's like cement, it takes him two days to get hard!

Your family is so poor, when I went to your house I stepped on a cigarette and your Daddy shouted, "Hey, who turned off the heater!"

your family is so poor.......... the family vehicle is a skateboard.

Yo mama's like...

• Yo mama's like a T.V., even a two-year-old could turn her on.
• Yo mama's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, and then comes back for more.
• Yo mama's like a rifle...four cocks and she's loaded.
• Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine...five cents a blow.
• Yo mama's like Chinese food...sweet, sour, and cheap.
• Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
• Yo mama's like Burger King... Your way, right away.
• Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.
• Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.
• Yo mama's like a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit.
• Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
• Yo mama's like a street lamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
• Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.
• Yo mama's like a 747, she has a very large cockpit.
• Yo mama's like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
• Yo mama's like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.
• Yo mama's like a mail box, open day and night.
• Yo mama's like a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay."
• Yo mama's like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
• Yo mama's like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
• Yo mama's like a bowling ball, you can fit three fingers in.
• Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
• Yo mama's like cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
• Yo mama's like an aircraft carrier, has a flat top, a big bottom, cruises up and down the coast, and picks up 100 sailors in every port.
• Yo mama's like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.
• Yo mama's like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
• Yo mama's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
• Yo mama's like Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
• Yo mama's like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
• Yo mama's like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
• Yo mama's like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
• Yo mama's like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
• Yo mama's like a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
• Yo mama's like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
• Yo mama's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
• Yo mama's like a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.
• Yo mama's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
• Yo mama's like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
• Yo mama's like a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
• Yo mama's like a race car driver... she burns a lot of rubbers.
• Yo mama's like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
• Yo mama's like a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
• Yo mama's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
• Yo mama's like a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"
• Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.
• Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
• Yo mama's like an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick.
• Yo mama's like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
• Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
• Yo mama's like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
• Yo mama's like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
• Yo mama's like Denny's... open 24 hours.
• Yo mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
• Yo mama's like McDonalds... What you want is what you get.
• Yo mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.
• Yo mama's like the Pillsbury dough boy... everybody pokes her.
• Yo mama's like lettuce, $1 a head.
• Yo mama's like a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.

• Your momma is so fat... the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs!
• Yo momma is so ugly, she entered and ugly contest and one of the judges said "Sorry... No proffessionals allowed!!!"
• Yo momma's so fat, when the lord said "Let There Be Light", he had to ask her to move over!
• Yo mama's teeth are so yellow that when she smiles, people SLOW DOWN!
• Yo mama is so fat, she walked into a resturant took one look at the menu and said, "yes please!"
• Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale!
• Yo momma's so fat she had to get baptised at Sea World!
• Whenever your mamma farts, she causes a continental drift!
• Yo momma's so fat even if she was the last person alive, the world would still be over populated!

Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

Yo mama so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.