Women Jokes — best jokes

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What Kind Of Woman

"Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?" asked John.

"Yes, I will." Paula replied.

"Would you do it for one thousand?" he asked.

"Well maybe, or maybe I'd do something else for you." she answered with a wink.

"How about a blowjob for $20?" responded John.

"Hey! What kind of women do you think I am?" Paula snapped, indignantly.

"That's already been established, Paula. Now we're just haggling over the price!"

Embroidered Lingerie

The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, "If you can read this you're too damn close" embroidered on her panties and bra. "Yes Madame," said the clerk. "I'm quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?" "Braille," she replied.

Cow Pasture Ride

These two women went out for a night on the town and got just totally sloshed. At the end of the evening they decided to take a short cut through a cow pasture after being unable to find a ride home. They became lost so split up to try and find the road home. One of the lushes doubled back only to stumble on the other flat on her back sucking on, and playing with a cow's udders. Her friend screamed "what are you doing"? the other lush says "shut up, with all these guys here someone'll drive us home".

Two AA Batteries

Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, "Come this way," and heads towards the back of the store.

"If I could come that way," she tells the retreating clerk, "I wouldn't need the batteries."