Women Jokes — best jokes

- Real estate man: Would you like to see a model home?

- Man: I sure would, when does she get off work?

Women have their faults. Men have only two. Everything they say and everything they do.

A man can actually cater to a woman's every need, so long as all that she wants is to have sex, go to ball games, and bring him a beer.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?

Ever notice how so many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?

MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, GUYnecology, HIMmorrhoids...

If you can't go down on them, you're not a good partner.

If you can go down on them, they are jeolous that someone taught you how.

If they pay for dinner, you are using them.

If you pay for dinner, you are trying to embarrass them.

If you make less money than them, you have to do all of the housework.

If you make more money than them, you are a ball-breaker and still have to do all of the housework.

If they want sex, they won't let you sleep.

If you want sex, they won't wake up.

If you choose an article of clothing that they don't like, you don't care about their taste. If you ask them for help in choosing an article of clothing they do like, they tell you to dress however you want.

If you are polite and friendly to their friends, they want to know why you are coming on to their friends.

If you are distant and reserved to their friends, they want to know why you don't like their friends.

Why don't women have any brains?
→ Because they don't have any testicles to put them in.

How does an older woman keep her youth?
→ By giving him money!

Why is it good that we now have female astronauts?
→ When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.

What does a woman have to do to keep a man interested?
→ Wear perfume that smells like beer.