Random joke from this category
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast. Everybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot.
However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm.
"Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer.
"I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't have made it."
How do you play Iraqi bingo?
→ F18... B52... F18
During the World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. So the captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something - at least they would die laughing. The navigator went down and said to the crew, "What would you think if I could split the whole ship in two by hitting my dick against the table?"
The crew burst laughing. So the navigator pulled his dick out and whammed it on the table. Just when the dick hit the table, a huge explosion tore the ship apart. The only survivors were the captain and the navigator. As they floated around in a lifeboat captain asked the navigator, "Well, the crew really laughed. What did you do?" The navigator told him.
The captain replied, "Well, you better be careful with that dick of yours. The torpedo missed!"
Now that Uday & Qusay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known Hussein family members are coming to the attention of American authorities.
Among the brothers:
Among the sisters:
More will, no doubt, be discovered...including A.A. Sidday, Oz weekend TV Host.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
→ To escape an oppressive military regime.
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner."
"What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks.
Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah."
Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner."
"What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks.
Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."
BUY YUGO WAR BONDS
For $25 US dollars you can invest in the future of a developing country just out of the clutches of communism.
What your $$$ buyz: Russian ammo for one freedom fighter for one month for the ethnic clensing!
Their motto: I wanns be like Ike! A little behind the times, BUT!
They model themselves after the US of A. They want to establish a land- first ridding themselves of undesireables (like the US did against the native inhabitants) Why not? What's good enough for US is good enuff for them!
The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavian air defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfall while the jet was on a bombing run. The plane crashed into an empty field, creating a huge crater. Serbian search and rescue workers have recovered 307 bodies so far, proving that NATO is using Albanian men, women and children terrorists to wage their war of terror from the sky.
Finally, Serbian hackers hacked the navigation systems of "Tomahawk" missiles -- now they're called "Boomerang."
