Sport Jokes — best jokes

How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
→ She was run over by the zambonis machine.

A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game". They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer.

"We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it's doing by listening for it. They're pretty good at it too."

"Very clever!" remarks the other patron.

Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, "Hey! Are you the guy with those damn blind kids from the bus?"

"Yes," says the teacher, stung by the way "his" kids are being refered to, "what about it? You got something against blind kids?"

"Nothing, ordinarily," says the guy, still scowling out the window, "but you better get them rounded up quick! They're kicking the hell out of my best milk cow!"

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
→ He heard the referee calling fowls

What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
→ The road.

- I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday.

- Farcical?

Jack and Jill were riding a tandem up a hill, but making heavy weather of it. At the top, Jack said:

'I didn't think we'd make it!' Jill replied,

'Nor did I - what a good thing I kept the brakes on, or we'd have slid all the way back down!'

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself?
→ Because it was two-tyred.

Which is the cheapest bicycle you can buy?
→ A penny-farthing.

- May: What position does your brother play in the school football team?

- Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Sumo Barbie ...comes with thong