Situations — best jokes

- People keep telling me I'm beautiful.

- What vivid imaginations some people have.

Where is everyone beautiful?
→ In the dark.

Who won the Monster Beauty Contest?
→ No one.

A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. 'Can you give me a room and bath?' he asked the clerk.
'I can give you a room,' the clerk said. 'But you'll have to take the bath by yourself!'

- Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night!

- Ed: You were? What did you do?

- Ned: I took a bath!

What's the difference between a peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath?
→ One is rude and nosey.
The other is nude and rosey!

Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom.
Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look out finally grew impatient and went to look for his partner. Inside the store the two came face to face. "Where have you been?" demanded the worried look out. "The boss told me to take a bath, but I couldn't find the soap and a towel."

- Does your brother keep himself clean?

- Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.

- Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please?

- Porter: I can give you a room, but you'll have to wash yourself.

Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in?
The plumber said, "Would you like a plug for it?"

The idiot replied, "Oh, I didn't know it was electric."