Situations — best jokes

How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two (of course) but it will take all week and when they're done the light bulb will do your homework, speak French and shine any colour you want from it.

How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two, but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs --- unless they're a legitimate business expense.

How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None: A Cancerian would worry herself to death with the problem.

How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Just one, and they'll use a non-disposable diaper too!

How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.

How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.

- Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister?

- Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards?

- No I wouldn't.

- No, well nor will she.