Random joke from this category
The Volunteer Fire Chief in a small town had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and family started toward their cars.
However, they stopped because a strange, eerie sound suddenly was heard from the grave.
As the guests looked around, a colleague of the deceased said, "Don't worry... it's just the dispatcher toning him out."
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. "Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam."
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.
The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"
In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin -- and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. "Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam."
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin. The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"
In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin -- and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.
Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58,000 cars out in the driveway.
These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time.
"That's a fine watch you got there!" says the other.
"Yeah it is, isn't it? I got it from my grandfather," says the guy with the watch.
"Really?"
"Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed."
How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Only one, but he'll tell everybody.
What do me and a mirror have in common?
→ When we see your face we both crack up!
I don't know where you got your face from, but I hope you have the receipt.
- Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast.
- Henry: If you're so smart, what did I have?
- Counselor: Eggs.
- Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!
- Boy monster: You've got a face like a million dollars!
- Girl monster: Have I really?
- Boy monster: Yes - it's green and wrinkly!
