Random joke from this category
How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
→ She drops her nail-file!
→ Who cares?
→ She says, "Next".
→ The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
→ He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
→ I mean, who really cares?
→ The batteries have run out.
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
- Brunette: Last night I had three orgasms in a row!!
- Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over hundred.
- Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
- Blonde: (looking shocked) oh, you meant with one guy...
A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off.
Finally, the last horse and the midget decided that he really wanted this horse. So he ask the owner if he could lift him up so he could look at the horses eyes. The owner did as the midget asked, and the midget said "Oh my, thse got very pretty eyez".
Then the midget ask if he could lift him up so he could see her teeth, Then the midget said "Oh wow, thse got wonderful teeth. Then the midget ask if he could see her twat. The owner, being very pissed, picked him up, and rammed him in and out of the horse's twat.
The midget looked up at the owner and said. "Oh my, yes she does have a very fine twat, but I guess I thoud have asked to see her gallop."
Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
→ Because it kept falling out.
A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers (so she can practice safe sex).
She walks up to the pharmacist and asks, "How much for a box of rubbers?"
"They're $1 for a box of 3," he replied, "Plus 6 cents for the tax."
"Oh," said the blonde, "I wondered how they kept them on."
What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
→ Opens the car door.
What is the worst thing about sex with a blonde?
→ Bucket seats.
What do blondes say after sex?
→ "Thanks, Guys!"
→ "Are you boys all in the same band?"
→ Do you guys all play for the same team?
→ Who were all those guys?
Why do blondes have orgasms?
→ So they know when to stop having sex!
A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with her vibrator.
"What are you doing?", asked the Mom.
"Mom I am 40 years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get married so this is pretty much my husband."
The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head.
The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator. "What the hell are you doing?", he asked.
His daughter replied, "I already told Mom. I am 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband."
The father walked out of the room shaking his head too.
The next day the Mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand, and the vibrator in the other hand, watching the football game.
"For Christ's sake, what are you doing?" she cried.
The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching the game with my new son-in-law!"
