Random joke from this category
This guy and a blonde are making out feverishly in the front seat of his car. After an hour or so, he whispers in her ear, "Do you want to move to the back seat?"
She replies, "NO!" Flabbergasted, he says, "Why Not?"
To which she replies, "Well, I want to stay up here with you. It'd be lonely back there!"
Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comeshome from work and leans against the freshly painted wall. The next day, she says to the painter, "You wanna see wheremy husband put his hand last night?" He sighs and says, "Look, lady, I got a tough day's work aheadof me. Why don't you just make us a cup of tea?"
Did you hear about the welfare doll?
You wind it up and it doesn't work.
It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way.
"And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home.
"Down at the office," he replied, "working like a dog."
A boy and girl octopus out on a date walked down the street arm in arm in arm in arm...
A little boy squirrel and a little girl squirrel were chattering and playing around when up comes a fox. The girl squirrel dashed up a tree, but the boy squirrel stayed on the ground. "That's strange," said the fox. "Usually squirrels are afraid of me and run to the nearest tree." "Listen, bud," replied the boy squirrel. "Did you ever try to climb a tree when you were in love?"
I finally found a woman like my mom. This woman:
So I took her home my father doesn't like her!?!!
You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, "There's one thing I want you to know. There's a box under my bed, and I don't want you to look in it until I die." Hillary agreed to this but, over the years, the curiosity got the better of her, and she finally looked in it. She found three beer cans and 1.5 million dollars in cash.
When she asked Bill what the beer cans were for, he replied, "Well, those are for all the times I've cheated on you."
Hillary said, "Well, that's not bad after all these years, and you being a politician, and traveling and all." She was about to leave, but then she said, "Hey, Bill, what about the 1.5 million dollars?"
Bill replied, "That's for all the times the box got full and I had to cash the cans in."
