Relationships — best jokes

Did any of you other married guys out there ever wonder whether it's better to have loved and lost, than to have loved and won?

"What's this I hear about you breaking off your engagement Pam ?" said her closest friend.

"Well," Pam confirmed, "although his diamond was of pretty good quality, his mounting left a lot to be desired."

A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, "Does this fellow have any money ?"

The daughter shook her head sadly. "Oh Daddy ! You men are all alike." sighing deeply, she replied, "That's exactly what he asked me about you."

Some time after their bitter divorce, a man happened to pull up alongside his ex-wife at a traffic signal. He shouted over, "So... out looking for a little, huh ?"

She smiled sweetly and said, "No, I had 6 years of that with you. I'm out looking for a lot !!!"

Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."

The wife simply sighed and replied, "Yes, dear, I know, but I was in love and didn't really notice."

Two men are talking. The first sez, "I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes."

"Amazing," said the second, "I just got divorced for the very same reasons."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.

A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks, he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wife sneered in reply, "Over my dead body !"

He downed his drink and replied, "Well, I see you haven't changed one little bit."

The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon.

The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, "Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover ? Long time no see."

A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room. Once inside, the piqued bride demanded: "And just who was THAT woman ?!?!?"

The groom wiped his brow and said, "Just relax honey. Please ! I'm going to have enuff trouble explaining you to her."