Relationships — best jokes

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
→ A mental hospital.

How can you tell if a man's playing around?
→ He sends you love notes that are photocopied and begin with the line, "To whom it may concern..."

How could Will Rogers say, "I never met a man I didn't like"?
→ He never had to date one.

How can you tell if a man you're dating is lazy?
→ He throws his kisses.

What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
→ Slow.

What can a woman find at both gyms and singles bars?
→ Dumbbells.

What are the only two kinds of men?
→ Studs and duds.

What do men have difficulty retaining?
a) a job
b) a budget
c) a promise
d) a secret
e) a friendship
f) a marriage
g) an anniversary date
h) a 30-minute erection
i) all of the above

What is the average number of times in a bachelor's life that his bed is made?
→ Once, when it was still in the factory.

An airplane pilot got engaged to two very pretty women at the same time. One was named Edith; the other named Kate.

They met, discovered they had the same fiancee, and told him: "Get out of our lives you rascal.

We'll teach you that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."