Random joke from this category
A fireman and policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning that if they had even one bad thought their wings would fall off.
Well, everything went well for some time then one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady.
As the fireman turned to watch her pass his wings fell off. When he bent over to pick them up the policemans wings fell off.
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."
The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence".
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"
Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?
→ So the cops can find the handles.
A cop pulled up two Irish drunks, and asked the first, "What's your name and address?"
"I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address." The cop turned to the second drunk, and asked the same question. "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."
Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a ton in the highway.
Police ask motorists to drive carefully and to yield right of way.
What will the Easter Bunny be doing after Easter?
→ One to three for breaking and entering.
What is the best kind of dog to direct traffic at a busy intersection?
→ A pointer!
Which dog looks like a cat?
→ A police dog in disguise.
What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater?
→ A plain clothes police dog!
- Doctor, Doctor, I'm a burglar!
- Have you taken anything for it?
