Police Jokes — best jokes

What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?
→ Oh give it arrest.

An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting please to come out and give himself up.

Slim walked into his local post office and noticed a new sign on the wall: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY IN MONTANA
"Gosh!" he said, "If n only that job was in Texas, Ah'd take it!"

Did you hear about the rookie Rhode Island cop who gave out twenty-two parking tickets before he found out he was at a drive-in movie?

An Irishman saw a notice outside a police station which read: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY.
So he went in and applied for the job!

Why did the belt go to jail?
→ Because he held up a pair of pants!

Did you hear about the man in the electric chair who asked the executioner to reverse the charges?

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.