Random joke from this category
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?"
So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned.
"I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts."
And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
→ Because its mother panda'd to its every whim!
Mummy Vampire: Jimmy, hurry up and drink your soup before it clots.
What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails?
→ He cut all his fingers off!
- Mother: Why was the phone busy all night?
- Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.
"Mah son's real smart!" crowed the redneck mother to an acquaintance. "He's only six but he can already spell his name backwards and forwards!"
"What's his name?" asked the friend.
"Bob."
"I gotta 'A' in spelling," Tony told his father.
"You dope!" he replied. "There isn't any 'A' in 'spelling'!"
- Daughter: I will never learn to spell.
- Mother: Why?
- Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words.
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.
"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"
"Really? How'd you do that?"
"I dropped the ball."
- Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
- Johnny: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.
