Mom/Dad Jokes — best jokes

What did the young witch say to her mother?
→ Can I have the keys to the broom tonight!

- My, hasn't your little girl grown?

- Yes, she's certainly gruesome.

What did the young witch say to her mother?
→ Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?

"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Fred looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said his mother.
"I've just stepped in a poodle!"

Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
→ Because then the children have to play inside.

- I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make.

- They are. She couldn't cook either.

Mama bear to Papa bear:
"Well... You might call it hibernating -- I call it 'goofing off'."

Exasperated dragon on the field of battle:
"Mother said there would be knights like this."

Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
→ For smoking in bed.

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."