Mom/Dad Jokes — best jokes

'William, I've been told that you have been fighting with the boys next door,' said mum.

'Yes, but they're twins, so I wanted some way to tell them apart.'

- Mum: How can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time?

- Son: Easy. I have two ears!

Dick and Jane were arguing furiously over the breakfast table. 'Oh you're so stupid!' shouted Dick.

'Dick!' said their father, 'that's quite enough of that! Now say you're sorry.'

'OK,' said Dick. 'Jane, I'm sorry you're stupid.'

Ben's dad was building a pine bookshelf and Ben was watching and occasionally helping. 'What are the holes for?' Ben asked.

'They're knot holes,' said his dad.

'What are they, then, if they're not holes?' asked Ben.

- Why are you crying, Ted? asked his mum.

- Because my new sneakers hurt.

- That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.

- But they are the only feet I have.

- Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt shaker yet?

- Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the salt through all those little holes!

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, 'Well, you know the Pacific Ocean? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.'

Bill wasn't impressed. 'Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea? My father's the one who killed it!'

A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. 'What's wrong?' asked his mother.

"Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?" he sobbed.

'In a way they do,' said his mother.

"And when they die do they turn back to dust?"

'Yes, they do.'

The little boy began to cry again. "Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going!"

- What's the matter, son?

- The boy next door said I look just like you.

- What did you say?

- Nothing, he's bigger than me!

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.

"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him!"