Men Jokes — best jokes

Why can't a man eat like a bird?
→ Have you ever tried to pick up food with your pecker?

The way to a man's heart is through his feet (but you need a long knife).

Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?
→ Because women don't get blowjobs while they're driving.

THE MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL ALL MEN ARE WAITING FOR

• Cover charge: $15.00
• Round of drinks: $23.00
• Table dance: $30.00
• Another round of drinks: $23.00
• Couch dance and tips: $50.00
• A round of shots: $34.00
• A Bottle of Dom and a Limo home: 125.00
• Private dance in your hotel room: $300.00
• Sending her on her way and never having to hear her complain: Priceless

For everthing else.... There's MasterCard

What is the definition of ultimate rejection?
→ Your hand falling asleep while masturbating.

Have you heard the one about the . . . .
. . . recent survey on cigarettes which found that 90% of the men that tried Camels still prefer women.

How is a man like a snow fall?
→ You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

What is a man's best friend?
→ His dick because it always sitcks up for him.

Men come in three sizes:
Small, medium, and Oh My God!!!

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.

Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.