Men Jokes — best jokes

Why are men like blenders?
→ You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

What's the ultimate rejection?
→ When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

What does a man and a floor have in common?
→ You lay them right the first time you can walk all over them forever!!

How does a man keep his youth?
→ By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
→ Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
→ Put the remote control between his toes.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?
→ They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Why do men name their penis?
→ They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of their decisions.

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.

What do men dream of?
→ Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls.

If men had PMS/PMT, what would happen?
a. The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b. Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability.
c. There would be a federal holiday every 28 days