Men Jokes — best jokes

How are men like diplomas?
→ You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.

What piece of furniture was named after the typical man?
→ The La-Z-Boy recliner.

If men had PMS, what would happen?
a) The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability.
c) There would be a federal holiday every 28 days.
d) All of the above.

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
→ A mental hospital.

What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60?
→ Four guys watching a football game.

What's a man's worst nightmare?

1. The Super Bowl is pre-empted by a soap opera.
2. His wife has amnesia and forgets how to cook so he has to.
3. A female boss.
4. He has to ask his wife for money.

How can you tell if a man's playing around?
→ He sends you love notes that are photocopied and begin with the line, "To whom it may concern..."

What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward?
→ It ends up in his mouth!

What happens when a man tries to hide his baldness by combing his hair across his head?
→ The truth comes shining through.

How do most men compare to Mel Gibson?
→ They have everything he has, except for talent, money, and looks.