Marriage Jokes — best jokes

- I think you've had enough, sir.

- I just lost my wife, buddy!

- Well, it must be hard losing a wife....

- It was almost impossible!

Before we got married, I caught her in my arms.
Now I catch her in my pockets.

How is a marriage like a hot bath?
→ Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

How do you know when you're at a hillbilly wedding?
→ Everyone is sitting on the same side of the church.

Where did the burgers go after their wedding?
→ On a bun-eymoon!

- Hey, you just shot my wife.

- I'm so sorry, have a shot at mine!

- She was two thirds married once.

- What do you mean?

- Well, she turned up, the Minster turned up, but the groom didn't!

Why did the 280-pound girl marry the 400-pound man?
→ She wanted a big wedding.

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?
→ Because she never marries the best man.

Marriage is a three-ring circus:

Engagement ring...

Wedding ring...

Suffering!!!