Kids Jokes — best jokes

"Son, you sure do ask a lot of questions," said the father. "I'd like to know what would have happened if I'd asked as many questions when I was a boy."

"Perhaps," said the boy, "you'd've been able to answer some of mine."

Down at the office Bostwick boasted to one of his buddies, "My son Arthur is smarter even than Abraham Lincoln.

Arthur could recite the Gettysburg Address when he was ten years old. Lincoln didn't say it till he was fifty!"

At dinner, Seth said to his father, "Dad, I got into trouble at school today and it's all your fault."

"How's that?" asked the master of the house.

"Remember I asked you how much $500,000 was?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"Well, 'a helluva lot' ain't the right answer."

"What are you reading?" demanded the father of his seven-year-old.

"A story about a cow jumping over the moon," was the reply.

"Throw that book away at once," he commanded.

"How many times have I told you you're too young to read science fiction?"

- Son: What is an autobiography?

- Father: Er, the story of an automobile.

"Dad, why do you write so slow?" asked Dennis.

"I have to," replied his father. "I'm a slow reader."

Young Bobby was being fitted for glasses, and his father, standing beside him, said, "Now, remember, son. Don't wear them when you're not looking at anything."

"Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse?" asked Rupert.

"Okay," replied his father, "but don't stand too close."

- Son: Where are the Himalayas?

- Father: If you'd put things away, you'd know where to find them.

Tad looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father, "Pop, what's a millennium?"

"Well," he muttered, "I think it's something like a centennial, only it has more legs!"