Random joke from this category
Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, "Grandpa, are you going to take that new Viagra?"
Grandpa looks at him and says, "No Johnny, I will not."
"But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny.
Grandpa replies, "Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one worth writing to."
Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry Son, your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."
The next night, it's father's turn to do the job.
"Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."
A few days later, the stork parents are desperate, their son is gone from the nest all night. Finally, shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask their son where he had been all night.
Says the baby stork, "Awww, just scaring the shit out of college kids!"
A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower.
It's at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says...
"Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?"
The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back at the little girl and winks...
"When your mommy goes to the mall!"
There were two people having sex in a car. They finished up and the guy threw the condom out the window. His girlfriend got mad at him, she wanted to go again. So he got out of the car and went to find the condom. He found that a little boy had found it and when he asked for it back the boy refused.
"C'mon," he begged, "I'll give u a dollar."
"Well," the little boy thought, "Okay."
So the little boy ran home.
"Mom, you'll never guess what just happened! I sold this guy a twinky for a dollar, but I tricked him. I sucked the cream out of it first!"
A Ken and Barbie Joke: Why does Barbie never get pregnant?
→ Because Ken always comes in a box!
Where does Peter Pan eat?
→ Wendy's
A Girl Scout troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in oral sex. "Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very dangerous beast out there!"
But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was the couple was doing.
"Well, err.... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's artificial respiration!"
"WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"
A mother and daughter are sitting down over afternoon tea. The mother wants to show her daughter that she's a hip parent and tries to get her daughter to open up and talk about dating boys and what it's like for her.
- Mom: So....now that you have started dating, what's it like getting intimate with young men?
- Daughter: Oh you know how it is, boys are always insensitive and never care if intimacy isn't working for me.
- Mom: How?
- Daughter: Oh, stuff....
- Mom: Really now, you can trust me. I think that its important for mothers and daughters to talk about these matters...
- Daughter: I don't know.....
- Mom: Now don't forget, I was a teenager once and I can remember what dating boys was like for me, believe I remember
- Daughter: Really?
- Mom: Really...
- Daughter: Ok, for starters, how did you get their cum out of your eyes?
Why was Raggedy Ann thrown out of the toy store?
→ She was caught sitting on Pinocchio's face and shouting "Lie lie lie!"
The Seven Dwarfs were all in bed feeling Happy-then he got out of bed so they felt Grumpy instead.....
