Kids Jokes — best jokes

Why are babies always gurgling with joy?
→ Because it's a nappy time.

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day:

- Well, Skip - said the scout - Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby brother have it.

- Doctor, doctor, my baby's swallowed a watch!

- Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.

- Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please?

- But that's the tenth one I've given you tonight!

- Yes, but the baby's bedroom is still on fire.

- Mum, are the Smiths very poor people?

- I don't think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask?

- Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin

Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller.

- It can't go on! It can't go on!

- What can't go on?

- This baby's vest - it's too small for me.

Why did you drop the baby?
→ Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did.

What is a baby: A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other.

Cry Baby - by Liza
Weeping