Kids Jokes — best jokes

- My brother's just opened a shop.

- Really? How's he doing?

- Six months. He opened it with a crowbar.

Discipline in the Home by Wilma Child-Begood

Don't Wake the Baby by Elsie Cries

What did a blind boy's parents do to punish him?
→ Rearranged the furniture

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
→ Because people kept toasting him!

For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater.
So they gave him a sumo wrestler!

Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
→ He wanted to have a birthday potty!

- Something happened to me yesterday that will never, ever, happen to me again.

- How can you be so sure?

- I was 10 years old yesterday.

A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out.

- What's the matter? - she asked.

- It's my birthday! - he hollered.

- And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there's to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards... - and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard.

- But that's lovely - said the old lady.

- Why are you crying?

- Because I'm lost!

What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party?
→ You're not owld enough.