Kids Jokes — best jokes

- Do you like my new baby sister?

- The stalk bought her.

- Hmm, it looks as if the stalk dropped her on her head.

- Michael: It's hard for my sister to eat.

- Maureen: Why?

- Michael: She can't bear to stop talking.

- What's your father's occupation? - asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.

- He's a conjurer, Ma'am - said the new boy.

- How interesting. What's his favourite trick?

- He saws people in half.

- Gosh! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?

- One half brother and two half sisters.

Did the bionic monster have a brother?
→ No, but he had lots of trans-sisters!

- Mummy Monster: What are you doing with that saw and where's your little brother?

- Young Monster: Hee, hee! He's my half-brother now!

- Mum: Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?

- Boy: Because he read the label, and it said 'shake well before using.'

- Dad: Don't be selfish. Let your brother use the sled half the time.

- Son: I do, Dad. I use it going down the hill and he gets to use it coming up!

- Little Brother: I'm going to buy a sea horse.

- Big Brother: Why?

- Little Brother: Because I want to play water polo!

- My brother's one of the biggest stickup men in town.

- Gosh is he really?

- Yes, he's a six-foot-six billposter.

- Big Brother: That planet over there is Mars.

- Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa's.