Gender Jokes — best jokes

Why couldn't the Lesbian tennis star compete in the Dutch Open?
→ She got her finger caught in a dike!

The United Airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed, rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Now put the tray up, Bitch."

Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London?
→ They were REALLY pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.

If men had PMS, what would happen?
a) The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability.
c) There would be a federal holiday every 28 days.
d) All of the above.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
→ Put the remote control between his toes.

If men had PMS/PMT, what would happen?
a. The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b. Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability.
c. There would be a federal holiday every 28 days

How do u get 4 gay men to sit on 1 stoll?
→ you turn it over!

At a Texas University, a Professor had been teaching his students human reproduction. For an exam, one of the questions was: "Female humans are born with a limited number of eggs, while males, during their lifetime, produce millions upon millions of sperm. Why are so many sperm produced?" One young woman's answer: "Because they won't ask for directions either."

How do you get a man to do situps?
→ Glue the TV remote between his ankles...

Seminars for Men

• COURSE 001 Combating Stupidity
• COURSE 002 You Too Can Do Housework
• COURSE 003 PMS - Learn When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
• COURSE 004 How To Fill An Ice Tray
• COURSE 005 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas
• COURSE 006 Wonderful Laundry Techniques (Formerly - Don't Wash My Silks)
• COURSE 007 Understanding The Female Response To Your Coming Home At 4 AM
• COURSE 008 Parenting: It Doesn't End With Conception
• COURSE 009 Get A Life: Learn To Cook
• COURSE 010 How Not To Act Like An Asshole When You Are Obviously Wrong
• COURSE 011 Understanding Your Incompetence
• COURSE 012 YOU: The Weaker Sex
• COURSE 013 Reasons To Give Flowers
• COURSE 014 How To Stay Awake After Sex
• COURSE 015 SEX 101: You CAN Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try
• COURSE 016 SEX 102: Morning Dilemma - If IT's Awake, Take A Shower
• COURSE 017 How To Put The Toilet Seat Down
• COURSE 018 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
• COURSE 019 How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
• COURSE 020 You Too Can Be A Designated Driver
• COURSE 021 Honest - You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson - Especially Naked
• COURSE 022 The Obtainable Goal: Omitting $@? From Your Vocabulary
• COURSE 023 Fluffing The Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
• COURSE 024 Patronizing Does Not Work
• COURSE 025 Motel 6 Doesn't Always Keep The Light On
• Course 026 Real Men Ask For Directions

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