Gender Jokes — best jokes

How do you tell if you are in a gay church?
→ Only half the congregation is kneeling.

Two gay men were in bed fooling around when all of a sudden the door bell rings. The first gay man tells the second, "Don't cum until I come back", and he rushes off to answer the door.

After a few minutes, he eagerly returns to the bedroom only to find cum was all over the bed and sheets. He says to the second gay man, "I thought you wasn't going to cum until I came back." The second gay man says to the first, "I didn't cum, ........ I farted!"

How do you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
→ If you sit down before the other guy gets off.

4 gay guys walk into a bar.

There is only 1 4 legged stool left, how do they sit???
→ They turn it upsidedown.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
→ lick-a-lot-a-pus

Why do gay men have moustaches?
→ To hide the stretchmarks.

What did one gay sperm say to the other?
→ I can't find my way through all this shit.

A big 300 pound, seven foot brute of a man walked into a bar one evening and said to the bartender, "Give everyone a drink except that gay guy over there."

About fifteen minutes later he gives the same order, "Give everyone a drink except that gay guy over there."

The gay guy asks the bartender for two ice cubes. The bartender asks why, and the gay guy says "I am going to put one in each cheek, go over there, and cold-cock that big sonofabitch!"

What does a lesbian think the string on the end of a tampoon is for?
→ For flossing after eating.

A woman orders a chicken sandwhich and starts to choke.

People are running frantically, trying to figure out what to do. Two homosexuals sitting in the corner wisper to each other and run in front of the choking lady. One strips out of his overalls, bends over butt naked in front of his friend. His friend proceeds to lick the other's ass.

Upon seeing this, the lady vomits forcing the lodged food from her throat. After making sure the lady is OK, the two homosexuals return to their food.

One turns to the other and says, "Wow, that hind-lick manuever really works!"