Food Jokes — best jokes

What do you call an aardvark in a frying pan?
→ A lardvark!

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?
→ A thyme machine.

What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger?
→ A big mac.

- Helpline? I've just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive!

- Has the computer stopped working?

- No, but there's a lot of crackling.

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

- Waiter, waiter, do you have frog's legs?

- Certainly, Sir!

- Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"

What is a vampire's favourite soup?
→ Scream of mushroom!

What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
→ Neck-tarines.

- First witch: Here's a banana if you can spell it.

- Second witch: I can spell banana. I just don't know when to stop.