Food Jokes — best jokes

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
→ That hit the spots!

What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?
→ A sausage dog!

What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
→ His bark was much worse than it's bite!

- Doctor, Doctor, I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someone's ear off.

- Oh dear, that's a lot of calories!

What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
→ Both can smell it but can't eat it.

What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
→ They are both substitute meats.

What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
→ S&M&M.

Why is food better than men?
→ Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

What's another name for pickled bread?
→ Dill-dough.

Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married?
→ The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!