Food Jokes — best jokes

- Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread.

- Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around.

Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?
→ Because he went crackers.

What did the biscuit say when it saw two friends knocked down?
→ Crumbs!

- Have you got any broken biscuits?

- Yes, I have.

- Well, you shouldn't be so clumsy!

Why did the biscuit cry?
→ Because its mother had been a wafer so long.

What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster?
→ You can dip a biscuit in your tea, but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
→ A hamster.

What's the best day to eat bacon?
→ Fry-day.

What are apricots?
→ Where monkeys sleep.

- Don't eat the cookies so fast they'll keep.

- I know, but I want to eat as many as I can before I lose my appetite!