Ethnic — best jokes

What goes: Clip Clop Clip Clop BANG Clipidy Clop Clipidy Clop?
→ An Amish drive-by shooting.

A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait.

"Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?", he says.

The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, "What'll it be?"

The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."

The bartender pauses for a few seconds, then smiles and says, "Once upon time, there were FOUR little peegs . . . "

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."

What do you get when you cross an Iraqi and a dog?
→ An Iraqi.

Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats?
→ So they can see the old Polish Navy!

What do Arabs do on saturday night?
→ They sit under palm trees and eat their dates.

Why do Jewish Women go for circumcised men?
→ Because they can't refuse anything with 10% off.

English: This is your Captain speaking, we have leveled off and are cruising at flight level three five zero, feel free to move about the cabin, also the First Officer has turned off the no smoking sign, the flight attendants will be serving cocktails and refreshments momentarily, so just sit back and enjoy the rest of the flight, we'll be arriving at our destination in 20 minutes, and I expect no delays. Enjoy the rest of your flight.

Ebonics: Ebonia Airlines Dis be yo' main man, we be chillin at tray-five -o, if you be flexin get up off yo ass and shake that thang, my homey be killin the man's opression if you wanna smoke chronic, just hang loose blood, them bitches be cruizin on up with some forty-ounce 8-ball, so stop trippin and sit your ass back down, we be in the hood in no time afterall, i be bumpin switches all da' way. Peace out!

What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook?
→ 100 way to wok your dog.

Mr. Schwatrz goes to meet his new son-in-law to be, Sol. He says to Sol (who is very religious), "So nu, tell me Sol, my boy, what do you do?"

"I study the Torah," he replies.

"But Sol, you are going to marry my daughter, how are you going to feed and house her?"

"No problem," says Sol, "I study Torah and it says God will provide."

"But you will have children, how will you educate them?" asks Mr. Schwartz.

"No problem," says Sol, "I study Torah and it says God will provide."

Mr. Shwartz goes home and Mrs. Shwartz, his wife, anxiously asks what Sol is like. "Well," says Mr. Shwartz, "he's a lovely boy, I only just met him and he already thinks I'm God."