Random joke from this category
A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, "I'm Jesus Christ."
The first priest says, "No, son, I'm Jesus Christ."
So the drunk says it to the second priest.
The second priest replies, "No, son, I'm Jesus Christ."
The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." and walks back into the bar with the priests.
The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"
A gay guy walks into a bar and says "bartender give me a brewskie."
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."
The gay continues, "I'll just sit in the corner and drink my beer and won't say anything."
The bartender says, "Well, all right!" and pours a beer.
A while later a cowboy walks in and says "Bartender give me a beer! I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls" A voice is heard from the corner. "Moo! Moo! Buckaroo!"
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender...
- Brunette: I'll have a B and C.
- Bartender: What is a B and C?
- Brunette: Bourbon and Coke.
- Redhead: And, I'll have a G and T.
- Bartender: What's a G and T?
- Redhead: Gin and tonic.
- Blonde: I'll have a 15.
- Bartender: What's a 15?
- Blonde: 7 and 7
A guy walked into a bar and said "Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender." But when it was time to pay, the guy didn't have the money, so the bartender beat him up. The next day the guy did the same thing, ordered a beer for everyone, even the bartender, and the bartender beat him up since the guy couldn't pay. Then the next day, the guy said "Beers for everyone! But not you, bartender!" The bartender said "Why?" The guy replied "You're violent when you're drunk!"
OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the box".
The man says "I'll show ya' if you get me a beer." So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano. The little man starts playing the piano!
Next the bar tender asks "hey! thats prety cool, where did ya' get that?"
The man says "I'll tell ya' if you get me another beer." So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says "I got it from a geenie and a lamp" The bar tender says "If ya' let me barrow that geenie and that lamp I'll give ya' another beer."
The man says "Oh, Okay!"
The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp.
The bar tender rubs the lamp and the geenie pops out!
The geenie says "Master, I grant you one wish, what is it?"
The bar tender says "I wish for a million bucks!!!" And all of a sudden a million ducks start flying into the room. "What the heck is this!!! I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks!!!"
And the man says "Well did you think I wished for a 12 inched pianist!"
Two friends in a Bar:
- JACK: Joe, at what moment does your wife shout loudest during sex?
- JOE: Er..., when I clean myself off with the curtains.
2 people walk into a bar. The third one ducked.
A Horse walks into a bar: "Hey buddy," says the bartender, "why the long face?"
There were three guys in a new bar that just openened and the bartender asked them what he should call his new bar.
One guy said, "just name it a pub." Another said, "just name it the bar." The thrid guy said, "name it Suzy's Legs".
The owner like that one so he called his bar Suzy's Legs.
The next morning, this same guy and his dog were sitting in front of the bar waiting for it to open when a cop drove by and asked what he was doing?
He replied...nothing officer..."just waiting for Suzy's Legs to open so I can get a drink!"
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says... "Why the long face?"
