Animal Jokes — best jokes

What do birds give out on Halloween?
→ Tweets.

Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head?
→ He thought he was a gorilla (griller)!

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
→ They have big fingers.

A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared:

- Who is the king of the jungle?

- Oh, you are, Master - and the deer replied.

The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared:

- Who is the king of the jungle?

- Oh, you are, Master - and the zebra replied.

The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant:

- Who is the king of the jungle? - he roared.

With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said:

- Okay, okay, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer.

Why do primates do so well in show biz?
→ Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?
→ It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies?
→ Did you ever hear a customer complain:

- Waiter, there's a Gorilla in my soup!

Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter?
→ They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!

Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods?
→ They like any jungle - even a blackboard jungle!

Why do Apes like tall buildings?
→ They want to climb the heights of the business world!