Best jokes

What's green and purple and goes up and down?
→ Barney in an elevator.

How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
→ Down in the mouth!

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
→ Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore?
→ Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)

A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said:

- I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.

- You're a brave man, - said the dentist.

- Now, show me which tooth it is.

The husband turns to his wife and says:

- Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.

- I came in to make an appointment with the dentist. - said the man to the receptionist.

- I'm sorry sir. - she replied.

- He's out right now, but...

- Thank you, - interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient.

- When will he be out again?

- Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes.

- Patient: And how much will it cost?

- Dentist: It's $90.00.

- Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work???

- Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.

A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth.

- Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?

- Dentist: Wear a brown tie!

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.

- Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

- Patient: Why? Doctor, it wasn't all that bad this time.

- Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.

What's the difference between a very old, shaggy Yeti and a dead bee?
→ One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee.